do my parents know i smoke weed

People Tell Us About the Worst Times Their Parents Caught Them High

Kids just aren’t getting high like they used to. Drug use among young people is trending downward according to a 2016 survey of high school seniors. Teens are even staying away from cannabis for the most part, despite ever-increasing support for legalization of the plant around the nation.

Drug experimentation is, of course, as much a part of the coming-of-age story Pantheon as losing one’s virginity or getting arrested. To think that so many in the younger generations may not experience the formative swirl of emotions that comes from a distraught parent screaming into their barely-able-to-stay-open eyes is a small tragedy.

With that in mind, we asked people to tell us their stories of a parent catching them high on something. Best to catalog these tales before they’re as extinct as the Quaalude.

I once got busted smoking pot while sitting in a bathtub full of hot water. The smell was clearly seeping out from under the door, and when my dad peeked his head in to check on the situation, I made a big fuss about my privacy and yelled “IT’S STEAAAMMMM!” He left me to finish my bath, but I got grounded later anyway as I’d had a bowl in full sight on the side of the tub anyway.
– Amir, 30

I came home from smoking weed with my friends to find my family setting up for dinner. I’m really bad at playing it cool when I’m high, so I was already fairly sure that my parents knew I was fuckin’ bleezed. We sat down, and it felt like psychological warfare. I blew the lid on myself when I commented, “This chicken is great, mom.” I was eating a pork chop.
– Jay, 23

I was downstairs in the basement with a couple of friends, and we were ripping three bongs in rotation. After about an hour, we hear my grandmother coming down the stairs as slow as can be. We hide the bongs, she walks up to us, asks us if we smell anything funny, we said no, she said it smells like burning leaves coming up through the vents. I told her, I think the neighbors might be burning some leaves outside. She said, “You are probably right,” then she moseyed up the stairs.

An hour more of bong rips goes by, and she starts down the stairs again; she comes over to us and asks, “Are you sure there aren’t leaves on fire in the furnace?” All of us started laughing hysterically. I told her it wasn’t possible so she then asks, “Well, do you want to go to [local diner] Dinos?” I say yes. At Dinos, she looks at me as I’m grinning like a fool and says “Hun, what is wrong with your eyes? They are so red.” “I’m just so tired, Grandma,” I tell her. “I need sleep after this meal.” Once we’re home, I go back downstairs to wind down, and all of a sudden, I hear grandma from upstairs have an out loud epiphany, laughing, “Judas Priest! You boys were smoking reefer! Can’t fool me!”
– Jake, 30

I was like 19 and was still being a bum and living at home with my mom. Three friends and I were up in my room, and we decided to go for a burn ride.

We pile into the car and are about to go when we realize the guy that was about to leave in his own care had all the bud. We call his phone, tell him to wait so we can get the stuff from him. He, very unstealthily, gets out of his car that was right in front of us, and nonchalantly strolls over with the bag and hands it to us. We go for a ride, smoke a few bowls, all is well in the universe.

About 30 minutes later, my mom calls me and tells me to get the fuck home right now. I panic a little bit because I’m extremely baked. I’ve been stoned in front of her before and played it off well; this time will be no different I tell myself.

I get home, and she’s standing there with a pee cup. My mom works at the laboratory at the local hospital. Shit. I put up a fight, tell her I’m fine. She says she saw my buddy drop off a bag of something, and if I wasn’t high, I had nothing to worry about. I piss in the cup and crash at my buddy’s place. Fast-forward to the next day. Test results are in. The verdict was that I was indeed high as shit. THC levels were several orders of magnitude over the norm. No other drugs in my system. She was a little pissed, but I think she was secretly glad that there was nothing else in my urine.
– Mike, 30

I was 15 when I tried DXM for the first time. My friends all took 16 of 30 milligram triple Cs, so that’s what I ended up taking too. A few hours later, I’m tripping hard and just sprawled out on my bed having a total out of body experience.

A shoe on the bedroom floor caught my eye, and I hallucinated it as one of the world warp pipes from Mario. Thinking that this pipe would transport me to another zone, I stood up on my bed and attempted to swan dive into it, resulting in an enormous thud that shook the entire house. My mom screamed “WHAT WAS THAT?!” from downstairs. I was scared of getting found out at this point, so I jumped back into bed and pulled the covers up, pretending to sleep. After getting no response from me, my mom bolted upstairs to check the situation. She came into my room, and I played asleep a while longer before she finally shook me, forcing me to look her in the eye. Immediately, she could tell I was beyond fucked up and started crying hysterically, saying, “Your eyes are so big! You don’t even look like my son anymore!” So much shame washed over me in that moment. I felt like the biggest piece of shit on earth for putting my poor mom through that.
– Matthew, 23

I was caught smoking pot in my room with a friend on Christmas Eve. My parents came home from mass, and I must have miscalculated because we were straight up cloud city in my room. They were planning on taking a cruise over the holiday. They said they couldn’t trust me at home (obviously true). So, they bought me a ticket for their watery adventure. I, the little devil that I was, smuggled a bag of shrooms with me to help me get through the sea escapade. One night, when I thought I would be safe for enough hours, I ate the bag. It was a magical experience. The moon reflecting on the ocean waves was very trippy, and being alone on a ship filled with people was too. The only issue was that some of those people were my parents, who I ran into by accident. While we were hanging out, someone put a stuffed parrot on my shoulder. I was startled and looked up to see a pirate man smiling above me. Someone snapped a photo. And that moment was forever commemorated. My parents still have that photo.
– Diego, 32

Getting busted by mom and pop sucks in the moment, but at least it can make for a funny story later.

Pot-smoking parents explain the rules of getting high at home around the kids

With marijuana more socially acceptable than ever, mothers and fathers explain the ins-and-outs of toking up with children nearby

American attitudes around marijuana are relaxing. So can you smoke pot and be a good parent? (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren, File) Photograph: Ted S. Warren/AP Photograph: Ted S. Warren/AP

American attitudes around marijuana are relaxing. So can you smoke pot and be a good parent? (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren, File) Photograph: Ted S. Warren/AP Photograph: Ted S. Warren/AP

Last modified on Tue 29 Apr 2014 20.58 BST

S moking pot is becoming less and less taboo in America as states legalize marijuana one by one – but what about smoking pot once you have kids? Whether using marijuana has a positive or negative effect on parenting has been a source of much debate this year.

So, to mark 4/20 – the so-called “Holy Day of Pot” – we asked parents to tell us about how they handle marijuana in the home. Nearly 200 people responded and shared their thoughts about whether weed can make you a better parent, when and where it’s OK to “partake” and how they talk about drugs with their kids. Read on.

Where and when to smoke

“Only smoke outside” – a popular recommendation. Photograph: /Flickr user piotrjozwiak Photograph: Flickr user piotrjozwiak

I usually smoke after they’ve gone to bed. Weed is my private time in the last few hours of a day. I wouldn’t smoke in front of [my kids] at this point. I’m not sure it would instill confidence and consistency in them and that’s my job being a parent. – Buddy, 47, Los Angeles, California, US

I light up a spliff when they have gone to bed and I’m outside with my husband. I don’t get totally blitzed out of mind. If parents can sit about and have a moderate drink of wine or beer around their kids then smoking a joint shouldn’t be classed as anything different. – Merry, London, UK

I go out into the garage when everyone else is drinking beers or wine or cocktails. One must always keep in mind there is a time and place for things. That is the real issue. If it is not a time to drink, it is not a time to smoke. That keeps things pretty even. – Rob, 59, Gig Harbor, Washington, US

I do not smoke near my daughter. I smoke in a room at the top of the house well away from her. It allows me to be more patient and less irritable. Smoking cannabis during the day makes me less active and I don’t play as much as I normally would. So I like to keep it to a night thing – Tannis, Halifax

Yes I smoke weed. Yes I have two awesome sons that are 8 and 4. I smoke around them occasionally most of the time I go outside or in another room. I feel that smoking pot makes me a better person in general not just a better parent. – Anonymous

Never in the house. Only ever in the back garden. Never when the in-laws are over as I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable. – Anonymous

I smoke marijuana on a semi-regular nightly basis after I put my son to bed. My husband will usually crack open a couple beers, but I prefer marijuana to help me unwind. Marijuana, as I have used it, has helped me to deal with my anxiety, and I has also helped shape my overall outlook on life; my thought processes are more forward-leaning, positive, and optimistic when I smoke cannibis on a semi-regular basis. – Anonymous, 31, Maine, US

On telling the kids (or not)

“I would never smoke and drive” Photograph: /Flickr user skiesonfire Photograph: Flickr user skiesonfire

He never sees us or our friends smoking. We have a signal for when one of us would like to smoke, so the other can make sure he’s taken care of or put to bed before joining in. – Elizabeth, NYC

My little one is still too young to have full on conversations with but I’m not going to encourage cannabis use when we do talk about it. I’m simply going to educate her with real facts as she grows up. The same way we all educate our children about things us such as alcohol, coffee, too many prunes and bathroom cleaner. – Anonymous, 30, Southampton, UK

We never, ever would allow our kid (age 12.5) to know we occasionally partake. It’s not impossible that once he’s quite a lot older (18?), we might be a little less shy about it, but it seems unlikely to me at this point. We have, once or twice, eaten a cookie or something when out at a music festival or lounging by the pool in a hotel while he is with us, but we would never get “totally baked”. I’m a control freak so I’d never be comfortable being really stoned and unable to cope with what might come up when he’s around. – Max, 51, Los Angeles, California, US

I didn’t smoke weed around my kids when they were younger, not because I was ashamed of my drug use, but because it is illegal and I didn’t want to encourage them to break the law. Now that they are grown up, and have discovered weed on their own, I smoke with them. – Steve, 40, Aberdeen, Scotland

I’ve seen kids smoking with their parents and I’ve even joined in. I felt uncomfortable at first, but it is definitely a bonding experience. I would not smoke with my child until he/she was 18. I think smoking as a parent makes me take my child’s perspective into view, which is often absent from most parental decisions. As anything else, it is best used in moderation and would probably be best used as a tool for thinking/decision making or relaxation after hours. – Jonathan, Boston, MA

How weed makes them better parents

“[Smoking pot] doesn’t make you a lesser parent. Choosing to be a lesser parent makes you that way.” Photograph: /Flickr user tillwe Photograph: Flickr user tillwe

I feel weed makes me a better, calmer, more interactive parent, I ask my daughter more questions, have the patience to sit and teach her new things, go on long exploratory walks and spend longer playing with her than I would if I hadn’t been smoking, I feel it’s really bought us closer. – Lucy, 25, Portsmouth, UK

I find it helps me relate to my daughter on her level. I’m more playful and silly and I really enjoy playing dolls, or crazy dancing, or pretend scenarios, or exploring in the woods. It also slows me down and removes the constant goal-reaching aspect of sober adulthood. I don’t rush her around or constantly direct her, and instead I ease back and let her run the show. – Shawn, 30, Springfield, Massachusetts, US

Being high around my kids is wonderful. I have two kids, one is four-years-old, and another who is 9 months old. I can be a “tough” parent with the eldest If he doesn’t listen to me. I get frustrated with him over small things. But when I’m stoned, I tend to let small things slide, and punish the important stuff, a more tactical parent. Not only that, but I can “get on their level” more, appreciate their wonder at interesting things, and play with them for hours. It allows me to shrug off the workday stress and transform back into “fun, silly, daddy” rather than the snappy daddy who just needs to be left alone for a while after work.– Dan, Lemington, UK

I regret not smoking more when my daughter was little. Not every day, obviously, but at weekends. Whenever I did smoke I was much more aware of what she was saying to me, and much better able to go with the flow of the games we played. Marijuana seems to me to be a ‘total interest’ drug, which locates you in the here and now. I’m a relaxed person anyway, but there’s always an element of impatience and self preoccupation about un-stoned people, I find. I don’t smoke now BTW – Paul Aberdeen, Scotland

I have chronic anxiety problems and smoking [marijuana] really helps me to keep it under control. I’m therefore able to be a fun laid back mother. My son adores me and we laugh all day long. – Matahina, 27, London, UK

I rarely smoke when my son is awake, it’s always after he has gone to sleep. I would never smoke marijuana in front of him, and I hide my supplies out of his reach. On the rare occasions when I do smoke during the daytime, it is always minute amounts, and only when we do not have plans to drive anywhere, as I would never drive impaired. – Anonymous, 31, Maine, US

I don’t see anyone worried about drinking alcohol around their kids and it’s a much more dangerous and harmful drug. It has always been my opinion that [marijuana] has made me a better parent. It helps me shed all my frustrations and worries about what I have to do all day to earn a living and my worries about the state of the country we live in, helps me be myself around my kids, helps me relate to them on their level. My son is grown now and smoking a little pot together is and always will be a part of our relationship. – Frank, 58, Asheville, North Carolina

[Smoking pot] doesn’t make you a lesser parent. Choosing to be a lesser parent makes you that way. – Jessica, 25, Spokane, Washington, US

With marijuana more socially acceptable than ever, mothers and fathers explain the ins-and-outs of toking up with children nearby